[music - silence in all its glory]

why am I so intimidated by silence?
sometimes its okay to have nothing to say
a simple thank you would suffice

but I feel the need to fill the space
load it with meaningless gibberish to disguise my insecurities
the fear that if I don't have all the right words to say
you'll come to the realization that
its not so beneficial to call me friend

but I don't understand

you've never given my a reason to doubt you

maybe because this issue really has nothing to do with my doubt in your friendship

but more of my uncomfortability in my own skin

I've known you for 3 months
& already you've opened my eyes to so many truths about my being
all this without any knowledge of it!
you're the only one in my life right now that I feel sees right thru me
like when you're around its impossible for me to lie to myself
I know I have to be honest
because if I'm not you're sure to call me out on it

they say that confidence comes with age
& although I do recognize that I am much more confident than I was @ 16
I thought I would be further than I am now
for God's sake I'm 21, I'm about to graduate from college & step out into the real world
the world that will eat you up & spit you out if you don't know who you are
so I guess I should be grateful to be confronted with this now
I can only become better for it
but wow is it a blow to the ego!