so today I saw a recent picture of Magic Johnson & it really infuriated me. Maybe it's just cuz I'm watching RENT...I don't know. But I'd like someone to tell me he didn't pay for the cure of AIDS. It was like, what, a decade ago he admitted to having full-blown AIDS? But he has absolutely no signs or symptoms! Nowadays, there are treatments that can do a great deal to surpress the outward symptoms but not a decade ago! So you're telling me all those children in Africa die everyday because their mommy doesn't have enough money. That people here right in the good ol' U.S. of A are dying simply because they don't meet the standards of those in charge. I don't know about you but I think that's some bullshit.

[music - "Dancing Nancies" Dave Matthews Band]

So I'm in Orlando right now. I forgot how much fun I have up here. There are even more people runnin thru the house Farah stays @ than ever before, it's CRAZY! One of her new roomies' name is Charles. We were all @ this bar & he just couldn't stop gushing on how pretty I was & how seeing me made him want to turn straight. Last night I was wondering why that's always such a big compliment to us females. My assessment is that every woman wants a man that only has eyes for her. I mean "I'll change me orientation if it means I can be with you" in my mind that's really saying something. Although I'm not quite sure I'd do that because I think having to wonder if your man is checking out another man would do some serious damage on my psyche, it is good to hear it every once & awhile.

[music - Long Time Coming Jonny Lang]

So I was thinkin' today, as I have for the last couple of weeks, about friendship. I was feeling a little stupid looking back at all the great people that wanted to spend time & get to know me that I didn't hang with because I was too busy investing in certain people I was sure would be in my life forever. Turns out forever is a lot shorter than I had anticipated. & I'm left thinking well, "what if..."


Okay, thank the Lord I've moved passed that. I remember something my mom always told me, "if you can count a handfull of people as true friends then you're luckier than most." & I really do & it made me take note that I need to appreciate them more.

I mean I have Farah, who God knows I would have gone crazy on numerous occasions without her by my side. Even recently when things didn't work out on a very large scale, I got really frightened that our friendship was in danger. But after talking with her I knew it was all for nothing & I left knowing that no matter what kind of spats or blow outs we get into, none of it will ever be big enough to walk out on each other.

Mykul: he's just one of those people that I've been thru too much with to ever let fully out of my life. We may not be the bestest of friends but no matter where we are in the world we will always be family & there will most definitely always be SO much love there. & if I ever need someone to talk to I know he'll be there always.

Evelyn: she crazy...but that's what I love about her. With her I can philosophize til we're both blue in the face & we'll still find something to over-analyze! lol it's wonderful. & she's great about calling so I know no matter where I am we'll always be abreast on each others' situation cuz she's just that good where I am not.

Nataline & Crystal!: really, they are so great! I love them totally & I love how we can go months without speaking & a year without seeing each other but pick right back up where we left when it's all said & done. They're good people who, I feel, we're one of the first to really appreciate me as a person. They're definitely one the firsts relationships that I experienced both sides of giving & getting.

Brittany: she was the best roomie EVER!!! so awesome! great person & really fun to be around. she really put in the effort for our friendship when I was slacking & I will always love her for it. she really cares about me & I her. I am SO @ the wedding!

They really are friends that are more like family. They know my faults but they love me just the same. They've refused to give up on me @ times where I don't know if I could have said the same. How lucky, no, blessed am I?! yep, I think I'm good in the friend department, & I'm making new ones everyday! Now that I'm moving the world is anew & I am so stoked its unbelievable!!!

[music - Reset EP Mute Math]

so I had super crazy dream a coule of nights ago that I just had to document. I was in LA on the set of a movie & Janice Dickinson was the director. Of course I wasn't in it but my pup Midnite was, me & another friend had our dogs in the movie but for some reason Janice really like the two of us & had us with her wherever she went on set & was just talkin to us like she'd known us for years. She even wanted me to try the opening of the movie (just for fun of course). It was this huge water slide that at the very end goes completely vertical b4 dumping you in the gorgeous pool @ the resort where we were filming. I was supposed to strike this killer pose when the slide went vertical, Janice even demonstrated & the pic was fierce! But yeah, mine...not so much. But whatever.

I did have a lot more details but I waited much to late to write this all down. Anyway, the male lead is played by Tom Everett Scott (who obviously in my dream is younger & not so famous) anyway, we're riding in a van on the way to the next location & I was really bummed about something (can't remember what anymore). I'm looking out the window with my chin on my hand & he's talking trying to cheer me up & reaches out & brushes my hand gently, pauses, then keeps talking. His hand brushes mine again & I could just feel how hard he was trying & how nervous he was so I look @ him, smile & grab his hand. He gets that ever-growing smile that's seemingly infectious & he leans over so we're shoulder to shoulder & tries to say something but its like he's so nervous the words won't come out so all he can do is smile.

I have a huge feeling a kiss was coming soon but my mom woke me up! How tragic!!!